Old Time Friends

In my last blog post I mentioned my friend Betty Clark as we have known each other for many years. Laura and I got together with Betty and our friend Carolyn Moorhouse the other day at the Ferry Landing in Coronado. Betty and her family have history in San Diego. I think it was her grandfather that was the first doctor in the area where he lived, maybe National City. Her father and an aunt were professors at San Diego State College, now SDSU. Her father's class surveyed the mountain for the large S that remained there for many years. Maybe it was his class that put the first large S in place.

Betty's brother Ted Livingston and his wife were missionaries in Japan for many years. First Baptist in Coronado used to support their mission work long before I ever was part of the church. Betty lost her brother Ted the very same year that she lost her husband Buford, within a month or two of each other. Betty is headed to Washington to spend time with her sister-in-law. They will go through Ted's things together. Then Betty plans to go to eastern Washington to see more family including her son and his family.

Carolyn and her husband John are probably the only ones left in the church that remember Betty from her time at First Baptist in Coronado. There is possibly one other person that would remember the Clarks. Betty's husband was our pastor in 1966 and 1967. I told more about them in my previous post. Everyone else there now would have come to our church since those years in the sixties. Carolyn and her husband were there when the church was founded sixty years ago. They remember the days of meeting in the VFW hall on Sunday mornings. They had to clean up the place for church after whatever took place on Saturday evenings. It was early in the fifties that the current church was built. I remember visiting there sometime before I ever got married in the early fifties. Paul and I joined First Baptist in 1961 when we were young parents.

Carolyn's husband John was born in China as his parents had business there. They were from England if I remember correctly. They came to Coronado when John was a young teenager. John's father was on business abroad when he became a POW during World War II. Actually the family saw the beginning of the war when Japan invaded China while they still lived there, way before Pearl Harbor ever took place. John was anxious to join the Marines as soon as he was old enough to do so. It took him a while to be able to though. He finally succeeded and soon went to war. He was injured in Okinawa and received a Purple Heart. Eventually John was able to be at the place where his father had been held prisoner and he was there when his father left the prison. John has written his story in book form and I got to read it. I am not good on all details, but I think I have a pretty good thumb nail sketch of his story. John can say that he saw the beginning of the war as well as the ending of the war.

Carolyn and John are both graduates of Coronado High School, as are Paul and me. Carolyn was a majorette for CHS. Paul had a newspaper clipping for many years showing Paul and his sousaphone and Carolyn and her baton, together on the front page of the paper. The high school band was greeting the Valley Forge aircraft carrier as it was arriving at North Island. Paul has misplaced this important news clipping after saving it for many years. Maybe he will find it again someday.

Carolyn's cousin Phyllis was one of my classmates in high school. She was one of my friends and hosted one of my bridal showers. She lived in a house that would have been about where the Lutheran Church is now. I was totally surprised when I got to her house and my friends were there to give me a shower. I pretty much guessed I was having a bridal shower when it was at my grandmother's house. It was family and close neighbors at that shower. My aunt or sisters put that shower on. But the shower at Phyllis' house was a total surprise. Her mother probably helped put that party together. I last saw Phyllis at our fiftieth high school reunion.

I got to know Phyllis' mother quite well when we joined the Baptist Church. We were both active in the women's missionary work. I also got to know Carolyn's mother as she was active in the women's work too. She was one of the founders of First Baptist, Coronado, a charter member. I guess Carolyn and John were charter members too. They were married in First Baptist Church of San Diego before our church was started. We were an outreach of the San Diego church. It used to be downtown for many generations but is in another area now. We used to go to events in the downtown location over the years.

This history can get wordy so I will not go into any more details. It all started with remembering old time friends and all of our connections to our past. There was a reason the Lord led Paul and me to our little Baptist Church in Coronado. We heard the message we needed to hear. We had some wonderful men of God who touched our hearts with God's Word. When we were first in the church we had Pastor Lyon. He was a dear man of God. When we first started going to the church there were visiting evangelists that attracted us there. They came about once a year and we appreciated them. After Pastor Lyon we had Pastor Bruce another dear man of God.  We loved their wives too. They ministered to us in a heartfelt way.

Paul and I had been in the Methodist Church when we got married in 1954 and when our first three babies were born. We made many friends and happy memories there as young people, but the time had come for a change. Our lives are forever changing.

One thing remains the same and that is God's Word, His truth does not change.
"Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8

Sharing Our Hearts and Hugs

When I was growing up I don't remember sharing hugs with many people. I'm sure that we would have shared hugs as young children, but I don't remember many hugs. I would have enjoyed this form of affection. We had a lot of interaction as a family in other ways, but the hugs and kisses were missing. I sort of remember Mom interacting in an affectionate way with my youngest sister when we were little. That indicates to me that she probably did the same with my other sister and me when we were younger.

I remember seeing some of my friends giving their parents hugs to say hello or goodbye and thought that was so nice. As a parent it is so natural to hug my children. I guess the busyness of my parents' lives got in the way of hugs and kisses. I don't think they intentionally avoided this ritual. I don't remember much in the way of hugs with grandparents either, but there was always a warm connection otherwise.

The problem is when we start to think any meaningful touching is meant as a girl-boy relationship. I always wanted hugs. I also liked boys so would have loved hugs and even kisses from a special someone. I wonder if I would have been so longing for this if I had the normal hugs from my family. Just a thought.

Paul's mother was totally against parents kissing their children or grandchildren. I don't remember if she was this way about hugs. Yet she was a wonderful grandmother in every way imaginable. She gave so much of herself. She did not like seeing any adults giving their germs to children by kissing them. It was a confusing message for me as an impressionable young mother. I grew up without kissing, yet I really wanted to be affectionate with my children.

Paul's father was quite affectionate as he became a grandfather. This was not how he was when Paul and his brother were little though. He was also affectionate with me as the daughter he never had. Paul followed in his dad's footsteps in that he did not show our children affection. That is what he learned as a child. This goes through the generations. We can change though.

When we were young I don't remember the friendly hugs that people enjoy sharing now days. At church it was a rare occasion for anything more than a handshake. I remember being at a small church in Mexico one time in 1960 where we were greeted with hugs. That is a warm memory. But hugs as a regular Sunday morning greeting was almost unheard of at the churches I regularly attended. Before 1961 we were in the Methodist Church. In 1961 we joined the Baptist Church. We did not usually share hugs at church. It was much later that many brothers and sisters in Christ began being so comfortable with hugging. Of course there were occasional hugs.

We have one special friend that is known for her hugs. We have known Rosalie since we were teenagers  and she has always shared hugs with us. She thought Paul did not really like hugs. I think he did, but had to get used to them. I had to get used to hugs, and I now consider myself to be a hugger too.

I enjoy the warm greetings we share in our churches today. Now days family and friends seem to be comfortable with friendly hugs. Maybe I have just gotten over the idea that hugs are for boy-girl relationships. I think Paul may be getting past that too, realizing that hugs are another way to greet brothers and sisters.

I remember that when I was a teenager one of my friends was surprised that the boy she was with just shook his father's hand instead of hugging him. I would not have thought of that as I don't remember ever seeing a father and son in a warm embrace when I was young. As daughters my sisters and I didn't even hug our parents. That all seems so sad to me now. We all need hugs and kisses and what better place to get them than from our parents?

I eventually got comfortable hugging my mother when she was older. Her second husband used to get upset with me because I did not show Mom affection. My attitude was that is how I was raised so that is how I was. Thankfully I changed over a period of time. Maybe around the time that we started showing more love to each other at church. Not to say we did not love each other, we just needed to be more tender to each other in our families and also our church family. I wish I had overcome that attitude earlier when I still had my Daddy here with me to be able to give him a big hug. I still called him Daddy till the day he died. It was a long time before I stopped calling my mother Mommy. That was our way of showing affection, I guess.

When giving hugs I respect the fact that some people are not comfortable with such greetings. If they prefer a handshake that is also a warm greeting. Just make it gently firm. I do not want to break their hand, but I want to show I care.

I share my heart each day with those I love. I share a smile with those I meet along the way, another way of sharing Jesus' love with others. And when I write a note I put a heart at the bottom of the page to say "you are loved." Otherwise I put my :) on many pages that I write.

Reaching Back

The story is that when Gene asked Ida to marry him that she just giggled. He did not know that she meant yes until she started telling friends that they were getting married. I don't remember if they ever told me how they met. I assume it was because they both worked in jobs that would have brought them together. He was a chauffeur and she was a maid. They were always hard workers.

They had a simple wedding in the parsonage of the Methodist Church. I don't even know who stood up with them as witnesses. The date was August 15, 1935. Fifteen and a half months later I was born. I was named Caroline after the lady my dad worked for. My middle name is Jean in recognition of Dad's name, Gene. He was given the name Rudolf Eugene McDonaugh, but he always went by Gene. Mom's maiden name was Ida Frances Davenport. Her family called her Ida Frances but most people called her Ida.

They met and got married in Coronado, California, but they were in Bellingham, Washington when I was born. I'm sure it was a good idea that she was with her family when she had her first baby. It was not an easy delivery for her to go through. They were so unhappy with the doctor that I was not paid for. They probably did not have the money. I don't know how long we were with our Washington family before we came to Coronado to be near Dad's friends and family. I know we were in Coronado when my sisters were born in 1938 and 1940.

Most of our childhood was in Coronado and we consider that to be our hometown. We did spend a few years with our grandparents on the farm in Washington during World War II. Mom and Dad worked in Portland, Oregon much of that time while Donna, Betty and I had a "little house on the prairie" life with our grandparents. Mom and Dad always did what they could to earn a living so they worked in the shipyard during the war. Dad was not healthy enough to be drafted into the Army so we did not have any long goodbyes. I remember visiting my parents in Portland at least once. Of course they visited us on the farm when possible.

Before I was born my parents made friends with a gentleman we always called Rogers. That was really his last name. His wife was Fidelia. As I grew up I remember Rogers mentioning seeing me as a baby. I think he had worked for Caroline Keck, the same lady that my dad chauffeured for. I also remember Rogers talking about the White House and some of the people he had met there, including Presidents. I wish I remembered his stories. It did not register to me as a young person that these were very important stories that I should remember.

When Paul and I got married on Mom and Dad's nineteenth wedding anniversary at the Methodist Church, we had about one hundred guests and we have a record of this in our guest book. The first names that were signed in my book are Mr. and Mrs. Emmett Rogers and Mrs. Lillian R. Parks. Lillian was the sister of our friends Fidelia and Rogers.

Lillian Rogers Parks with FDR's 1942
 Holy Bible

In later years Lillian wrote the book "My Thirty Years Backstairs at the White House." When the book was first published, and then became the basis for a TV miniseries in 1979, I had not realized that it was documenting stories that I should have remembered from childhood. Our friend and his family had a real history in the White House. Our friend's mother, Maggie Rogers, had been part of the White House staff since the Taft administration. I'll put a link to one of the obituaries about Mrs. Parks from November of 1997. She was 100 years old when she died. Read more about Lillian Rogers Parks at the Houston Chronicles Archives.

The only time I remember seeing Mrs. Parks is at our wedding and then again at our friend Rogers' funeral.

Riding The Bus

It has been mostly a blessing riding the bus as our main form of transportation. We have made special friends and met a lot of interesting people along the way. One of my best friends is one that I met on the bus. When I was going to Coronado every Sunday morning to Sunday school and church I met Ellen as she was heading to Westview Bible Church in Imperial Beach. We were on the bus a short time together each week and got to know each other over a period of time. She invited us to her church and since we had another friend there we eventually visited Westview.

We continued to go to Coronado, but occasionally visited Westview. Laura started going to Westview much more often than Paul and I did. Then for a period of time Paul was going to Midway Baptist Church which is now known as Oceanview Church. He liked the idea that it is close to home so it is a short bus ride. Laura was going to Westview then and I was still going to Coronado. The bus driver was interested in our unusual arrangement at the time. She would have been in Church if she had not been driving the bus.

When the bus schedule changed and was not running often enough on the Strand to Coronado we started going Westview most weeks. This has been a blessing for our family. I am thankful that we met Ellen on the bus. Ellen and her husband Dave are dear people. We have enjoyed getting to know them and the other dear brothers and sisters in Christ at Westview Bible Church. We still have a sweet connection to Coronado and our many friends there, but we are being blessed each week at Westview.

There are a lot of interesting people on the bus and I have enjoyed talking to some of them. Bella is an older lady that I used to see quite often on the bus. She was beginning to forget things a lot and I was really concerned about her. She had a lot of history in our area and I heard some of her stories more than once. She lived with her sons near the trolley station and they must have begun to be concerned about her too. We had not seen her in quite a while when Laura and I came upon her as we were walking near her home in the valley. She said her sons did not want her to leave the yard anymore. At least I know she is safe.

We see many handicapped people on the bus. They don't let their disabilities keep them from being out and about many times during the week. There are a lot of senior citizens on their errands as well as young people going to school or their jobs each day. The bus and trolley are very much needed by many people. I appreciate being in an area where public transportation is available. I appreciate the nice bus drivers too. I have met some very nice drivers. There are a few that are not as nice, but they are the minority. Drivers have an important job and also need to care about people. You can tell which ones are not people oriented, it is just a job for them.

Then there are the people that get on the bus and are having a bad day. They want to make sure that everyone else has a bad day too. The other day one guy was loudly cussing at his lady friend. I could tell that he was a bully and did not have anything nice to say to her. I would have loved to say something but would have probably made the situation worse. I don't like to see someone being treated so badly. I would hope that she has someone to intervene for her or that she is able to distance herself from this bully.

Riding the bus is not boring. But you have to give yourself enough time to get to your destination. We like to leave home early and arrive at appointments early. Proper planning is important.

Photo credits: Seattle Municipal Archives;  DearEdward; paulkimo90

First Memories

There is an article in the paper today about first memories and how young were you at the time of your first memory. I know that I remember several things from when I was in kindergarten. I'm sure I remember a little bit from when I was a little bit younger. I clearly remember the house we lived in when I was around four or five years old. In fact my youngest sister was a baby then so I would have been about four when I first remember that house.

The house was on B Avenue, south of Tenth Street. It was a very old house and has been gone for years now. There was a vacant lot on the corner of Tenth and B. Next to the lot, on Tenth, there was a building that must have been a club house for Filipinos. I was a friendly child and probably made friends with some of the people there. Across the street on Tenth and C was, and still is, the Presbyterian Church. I made friends with Pastor Carson's youngest daughter Eloise. I went to their Sunday School for a while, but don't remember how long. We had been so young that Eloise did not remember knowing me when we met in later years.

On Orange Avenue, in back of our house, was the little hospital where my sisters were born. Twenty years later, in the sixties, there was a cute shop there named The Bayberry Tree. That store could have been there into the seventies. We enjoyed going into that store over the years when my children were young.

One story that Mom used to tell about my sister Betty was that she used to hold her breath and couldn't breathe. Mom would grab Betty and head out the back towards the hospital, then Betty would catch her breath when they got outside. I guess they didn't end up reaching the hospital before she was ok. We were in a good place if assistance had been needed.

Another time when Betty was about two years old, when we were visiting our grandparents and other relatives on F Avenue, Betty fell while drinking out of a small juice glass. She cut herself very bad on the bridge of her nose. I remember it bleeding a lot and all the adults being very concerned. Little Betty needed stitches for that injury. Those were probably the first stitches for any of us. I know we lived in the house on B then as I remember my aunt and uncle being with us there right after that happened.

I remember going to kindergarten in Coronado. My grandfather used to take me home after school. I rode on the back of his bike. One day when he went to pick me up I wasn't there. I had gone to a friend's at a house nearby. I can even remember the house on Seventh Street, near where the current police station is. I don't know how he found me but he did. I guess I was in big trouble since it stayed in my memory bank all these years. I'm remembering this seventy years later.

Paul remembers the first day of kindergarten. He says there were two teachers and he rejected both teachers. He does not remember why he did this. There is usually one child in a class who would much prefer to be home with Mommy. I guess he was the one. He also started school in Coronado. One of the teachers was the teacher I remember having, as did three of our children.

Donna didn't get to go to kindergarten as we were in Washington state with our mother's parents and there was no kindergarten there. I remember Donna's first day of first grade at the Meridian School, near the Canadian border, not far from our grandparent's farm in Laurel. I had done first grade twice at that school. I was in second grade when Donna started first grade. We had moved to Portland by the time Betty was in kindergarten. She started school there and finished her kindergarten year in Coronado.

One thing I remember about going to school in Portland, when I was in third grade, was that we were in a mixed race neighborhood. This was a change from our days on the farm with our grandparents. I also remember someone asking me what was on Betty's face. I never paid much attention to her birthmark otherwise. I knew enough to just say it was something she always had. Kids can be color blind, or blind to birthmarks. I always had a mole near my eye and remember a teacher being concerned about it when I was in first or second grade. Otherwise I wouldn't have thought about it. I eventually had it removed many years later. Betty never had the desire to have her birthmark removed. It was part of who she was.

Another memory from the house on B Avenue in Coronado also needs to be told. My parents were always hard workers and they did what they needed to do to support our family. Mom took in laundry and ironing and may have done some maid work. When we were very young Dad was a chauffeur, while his eyes were still good.

One day when Mom was at work and Dad was caring for the three of us girls he may have fallen asleep on the job. He may have had a few under his belt too. That happened sometimes. The three of us may have been on the noisy side and bothered the neighbors this one time. Our nearby neighbor was none too  pleased with the enthusiasm coming from the kids in the house next door, and Daddy could not be raised from his sleep. Our good neighbor called the police. When Mom came home from work the police were there and helping out nicely. But my Mom had plenty to say about that! She told them to mind their own business, that they did not need to be there. Life was not boring in our household.

In this day and age I'm sure things may not have ended as they did in those days so many years ago. I have a feeling that they did not choose to cross paths with that mother hen again. She could be very likeable and never knew a stranger, but not on that day.

Small world if you live in Coronado. Our neighbor was one of Paul's uncles. Now I remember that uncle always saying nice things about my mother. My dad was a good friend of another one of Paul's uncles. Even though I did not know Paul till we were teenagers our ties go back a long way. Dad and Paul's aunts, uncles and parents all grew up in Coronado from the time they were in school. Some of my uncles and one aunt would have gone to school in Coronado too.

I remember the first day going to school after arriving back in Coronado after the war. I was in third grade, Donna was in second grade and Betty was in kindergarten. This would have been after Christmas vacation, and after a long bus ride for our whole family from Portland to San Diego. After that first day of school I was to make sure my sisters got back home on Third and F ok. I remembered where my sisters classes were and how to get home. I found Donna and Betty as I was supposed to do. But then they decided they knew more about getting home than I did.

I couldn't persuade them to go with me straight down F from the school to home, heading north, towards the bay. It was so easy for me, but they had their own idea of where to head. They went straight, but they headed west down Fifth Street, towards North Island. I got home and told either our parents or grandparents that Donna and Betty were headed the wrong way. It did not take long for family to find my wayward sisters. They knew the way after that.

Another time that same year I was walking with two friends home from school. We were across the street from Dorothy's house, on the same block that I lived, when a man asked us if we wanted a ride. I was not wise to the ways of the world, just fresh from several years of "A Little House On The Prairie" existence. Thankfully I was with two wise friends and noted that they were alarmed. They ran to Dorothy's house and thankfully I decided that was what I should do too. Or maybe I just finished the walk home since I was close by. I would have thought it was someone that maybe I knew and was just being nice. The next day the police came to school and asked us questions. I doubt that I was a good witness for the information that they needed.

The second friend that day was Paul's cousin Sally. I have known her since third grade. When we met we were so amazed that our fathers were good friends. Our fathers had their own adventures together over the years.

After this experience I was sure it was my God given duty to warn my sisters of things such as that. But I got carried away and put fear into them that did not need to be part of their young lives. I had just discovered that there were bad people and I was the one to protect my sisters. Who knows, maybe the person who offered us a ride was not really a bad guy. I did a pretty good job of warning my little Kathy too. "Do not take rides from strangers," so she even turned down a ride with my aunt that she knew all her life. I must not have worried too much though as my children pretty much had the run of the island. And that is another story.

The New Bridge

On Friday, March 18th the new pedestrian bridge in San Diego opened without much fanfare for people wanting easy access between Pet Co Park and the convention center on Harbor Drive. It had been a long time in the making, with many delays, and at a higher cost. It is a beautiful piece of architecture, a treat for the eyes. I think a ribbon cutting ceremony is on the books. This new bridge will make life easier for those in the Gaslamp area. People will be able to cross Harbor Drive without walking blocks to a crosswalk. They will not have to watch out for trains and trolleys if they use the bridge.

Laura and I had been wanting to walk across the new bridge and finally set a time to do this. We decided to ask our good friend Ellen to go with us after Bible Study on Wednesday. Her husband Dave had walked there the day it opened so we knew she would be interested. Like us, she rides the bus everywhere. So after Bible Study we headed for the 901 bus heading to Coronado and then to San Diego. We enjoyed our ride down the Strand, through Coronado and then over the San Diego Coronado Bay Bridge. We got off the bus at Pet Co Park, where our Padres play baseball.

We headed directly to the new bridge just a block or so away. Ellen and Laura climbed the many steps to the bridge while I took the elevator. We enjoyed the scenery at the top and took some pictures. Others were there to enjoy the sights too. Some were also taking pictures and one gentleman offered to take our picture. We could enjoy much of San Diego's skyline and a view of the bay and Coronado. We were above the train tracks and Harbor Drive.

At the south end of the bridge Ellen and Laura did the steps again while I found the elevator going down. We were now at the new Hilton Hotel next to the bay. There is a beautiful walkway along the bay that was not there the last time Laura and I were in that area near the convention center. There is a new park next to the bay which is much more welcoming than it was previously. We sat for a short time and thought about walking to Sea Port Village, but decided to go back across the bridge as planned.

We again enjoyed the walk across the bridge, this time heading north. Near Pet Co Park we headed to where we planned to get something for lunch. Walking is getting difficult for me now days, but I slowly headed for our destination near the ball park. It was lunch time so Subway was crowded. We had hoped to take a sandwich to Pet Co Park to eat. Laura and I did this last time we were in that area. So we headed to The Tin Fish for lunch. Last time we tried to do this it was too early. This time it was too crowded. So we sat for a while to decide what to do.

We decided to head for the trolley and get something closer to home. We got the trolley heading to 12th and Imperial, and then the one heading south. It was crowded but we got seats for our ride to Palomar Street in Chula Vista. At our destination we got off the trolley and went to the Subway in that shopping center for our sandwiches. Thankfully it was not crowded until after we were waited on. We each enjoyed the sandwich of our choice while seated at Subway. Laura and I always get the Veggie Delite.

The three of us continued south on the trolley to Iris Street. Ellen was at her destination stop, and Laura and I still had a short bus ride to get home. Laura and I were delighted with our day with Ellen. We are game for more such days even though I hold them back with my slow pace. I need to keep moving.

The First Date

When Paul and I were teenagers and had known each other for a short time we had some of the same friends. I had another boy that I liked a lot that year. Paul had his eye on a certain girl for some time, but she may have moved that year and wasn't in the picture any more. We were both interested in the other sex. He may have had his eye on me, but he had his eye on others too.

Paul was going to the beach in Coronado, to a bonfire, with a large group of his friends. This may have been a Church group. He decided to ask me to go with him to this gathering. I knew some of the others in the group and was comfortable in this setting for a first date. I'm sure there must have been food and much fellowship and singing. But the main thing I remember is that we went grunion running.

Grunion are little silvery fish that come up on the beach at specific times during the year to lay their eggs. It is at night by the light of the moon. To catch them you need something to put them in and your bare hands. Anyone over a certain age needs a fishing license to do this. Paul was a surf fisherman and had his license. I never had the need for a license, but I must have been young enough to catch the grunion without a license. Hopefully I was legal. It was not something I would have thought about.

Several of my friends, along with Paul and me, had a great time catching a lot of these slippery little fish by hand that evening. What a fun memory. Afterwards we went to Linda and Judy's house where their mother fried up a batch of grunion for us to enjoy. There was enough of the uncooked fish left over for us to take home for our families. Anyway I took some home.

I doubt my sisters appreciated the fish I took home though. I came from a family that would just as likely as not pull a prank on a sibling. When I got home I woke my sisters up with the fish. It sounds dumb now, but it didn't at the time. I'm sure that Donna and Betty were glad that that was the only time I so nicely shared such cute little fishies with them.

This really was the only time I ever went grunion running. Paul spent much of his younger years surf fishing on the beach in Coronado. We didn't become a couple until some number of months later. We still had eyes for others for a while. I can't recall the month of the first date, but I bet Paul has it written in his journal. It was the fall of 1953 that we became serious about each other. After that there were many hours spent on the beach while Paul was fishing.

Here is a link to Laura's blog post that she wrote three years ago that goes good with this: Swimming and loving in Coronado.

My Dear Friend Madeline

On Monday, January 31st Laura and I were blessed to be able to spend the day with our dear friend Madeline. Bill took us to Madeline's house in Lemon Grove. Paul and Bill visited briefly with Madeline and then they headed out for a day of birding.

Laura, Madeline and I headed to Rosecrans National Cemetery where we put flowers on several graves of loved ones. First we found the columbarium where Paul's Uncle Ivor Jones is interred. This is the first time we had found Uncle Ivor's place of rest to be able to put flowers there.  He was a favorite uncle and we have precious memories of him. Next we headed to Uncle Ellis Jones' resting place to put flowers next to his marker. Paul and I had been with family at Rosecrans when Uncle El had been placed in the new columbarium. Uncle El was loved by many and affectionately called Jonesy by some.

The reason for going with Madeline was in remembrance of her dear husband Stephen, who went to be with the Lord July of 2009. I wanted to go with Madeline at least this one time to visit Steve's final resting place. We were able to place flowers there for him and to sing a hymn. We know our dear friend is really with our Lord in heaven and there will be a great reunion with him one day. Madeline and Steve have always been such a blessing to our family. Their whole family is dear to me.

I have known Madeline since we were in third grade in Coronado. We graduated together from Coronado High School in 1955. Paul's cousin Sally Jones was in our class and I also met her in third grade. We had a number of classmates that went all through Coronado schools together. It is such a blessing to have Madeline as my extra special friend, my sister in the Lord.

After we put flowers at Steve's grave we found the place nearby in the columbarium wall where Madeline and Steve's good friend Jim was laid to rest. Madeline placed flowers there for him too. Next time I go to Rosecrans I will know where to find Stephen and our uncles. I have others that I would like to remember too. Mr. Sinclair, Arthur and Debra's grandfather is one. We were there in 1965 when he was buried at Rosecrans overlooking the ocean. I think that is the year as Arthur and Debra lost both of their grandfathers in less than a year. My Dad died in November of 1964 at the age of 53. So young. Mr. Sinclair was a lot older when he died.

When we were finished at the cemetery we headed to Liberty Station in Point Loma for lunch at The Tin Fish. We have enjoyed meals at The Tin Fish on the Imperial Beach Pier a number of times. Madeline was familiar with The Tin Fish near Pet Co Park in San Diego. The restaurant at Liberty Station is quite a bit fancier than the one on the pier. The food is the same enjoyable fish and chips that I have come to expect. We also got a free dessert for Madeline's birthday. The dessert was a Portuguese style donut with a fancy name that we could not remember. Point Loma is historically known for the Portuguese fishermen that settled there. There is a memorial to the fishermen on nearby Shelter Island.

Madeline and I try to always celebrate each others birthdays every year. One year I neglected her birthday and that was very short sighted on my part as she is ever faithful. Actually Madeline and Steve would do something special for Paul, Laura and me on each of our birthdays. We have enjoyed many  excursions with our dear friends on or near our birthdays. Otherwise we have enjoyed their hospitality in their home to celebrate birthdays. It is so comforting to me to have this special shelter of friends who are family to us.

After we enjoyed our lunch on Monday we headed to Coronado to visit Madeline's mother. She is a dear lady who is doing quite nicely for being in her nineties. I know how Madeline became such a nice person. She has a good example to follow.

I have another sweet friend in her nineties that I want to visit very soon. She also lives in Coronado and was even born in Coronado. I call her my "other mother".

Monday was a good day for Madeline, Laura and me. We finished the afternoon by a quick stop at the 99 cent store on the way home from Coronado. Paul and Bill were already home when Madeline brought us back to Rene Court. Then she had her drive back to Lemon Grove alone. Thankfully she has family next door and has an active lifestyle which is very good. May God Bless my dear friend.

Bits and Pieces of Life - January 2011

I still can't even start a new post unless Laura is here to help me. I get so frustrated because I do the same thing as she does and it doesn't work for me. All I get is a page that has nothing to do with starting a new post. Learning new things has always been hard for me. If Laura wasn't here I wouldn't even be on the computer.

Fred gets frustrated because Donna doesn't learn how to use the computer, but she doesn't have someone like Laura to teach her. Fred wouldn't have the time to put into teaching her. He doesn't even have time to go to his Facebook page. His computer is for work, not fun.

Poor Bill, his laptop computer is not working at this time. He needs it for all of his birding and other records. He spends a lot of time on it when it works. I hope the cats didn't do something to it when they jumped across it. He says it was already having problems so they are not the cause. This is not his first laptop as some don't last long for him.

I get ideas to write about, but when I sit at the computer those ideas take flight. Today I put some ideas on paper since I'm sharing about a friend at her memorial service on Saturday. Kathy was my friend that I played Scrabble with. I knew her since our boys were in 5th or 6th grade together. She was a neighbor on the street in back of us. Her husband Ron is still our friend. They always welcomed friends into their home and knew how to give a party which they did many times over the years.

We have been enjoying having Bill with us since he arrived from Florida on Christmas. We have been to the desert, the mountains, Lindo Lake in Lakeside and to Griff's in Valley Center. Bill has taken his Dad birding many times in recent weeks. They have been to all the local birding spots. Bill has gone out with Laura on excursions too. This morning while Bill and Paul were out birding Laura and I took a short walk to a favorite neighborhood spot overlooking the Otay Valley.

On Saturday we had company here. My cousin Dagna and her husband Joe were here on their annual visit with us. Actually we saw Dagna another time last summer when Kathy and John were here. Donna and Fred were also here on Saturday as they were in town for a wedding. They were able to enjoy tamales with us that Dagna and Joe brought for dinner. Donna and Fred were here for a short time when they had to head to the wedding of Fred's niece. Last time they were in town it was for his brother's funeral.

There is always something going on, it seems. I also enjoy quiet days at home. I do a little housework too. But I need to do a lot more housework. It is good to have company to make me do a little extra work. There is never an end to things that need to be done.

We had a problem that Paul had to solve by phone last week. We had changed health insurance providers in December but the old one did not get canceled as it should have. The whole idea was that we couldn't afford the old one. When he first called about it he was told that it was too late to cancel and he was given the run around with voice mail. That is a bad thing to happen to any senior. He finally got hold of someone who could help him late last week so the problem is solved after many sleepless nights on my part. We couldn't just withhold payment as it automatically came out of his pay before it got to the bank. Thankfully things look better now. Hopefully they really are.

We had a nice day yesterday as we enjoyed church and then went with friends to Arby's afterwards. We had talked with Ellen and Dave for several weeks about doing this. Ellen is my good friend from Westview Bible Church that I originally met on the bus. We met her when we were heading to Coronado on Sundays and she was also riding the bus. It has been a blessing to know Ellen and Dave and to go to church with them. We have made other friends at Westview too. We already knew Adria, another dear friend.

I want to get together with my dear friend Madeline soon. We are long overdue on doing this, not any fault of hers. I don't know when we can work this out. She would like to see Bill while he is here. I hope for the best. Madeline, if you read this I will call soon.

We also promised Rosalie we would go see her soon. She is "my other mother" and Madeline is "my other sister". Donna and I both "adopted" Rosalie when we were teen agers to be our "other mother". But we haven't been very good daughters in recent years. We get busy and time slips away.

Lucia "adopted" me to be her "other mother" as her family is in Colombia. She was able to see them recently when they were in California on vacation. She also went with Michael and Sabrina to Oklahoma to see his family for Christmas so they have been on the go. We need to get together soon.

I recently sent birthday cards to two of my nephews and to Josie. I could have sent another nephew a card too but didn't have his current address. Josie was our daughter-in-law, but we still consider her to be family.

Such is the life of this senior citizen. This wasn't about any one thing, just bits and pieces of life. And I didn't even touch on everything. I really need patience with problems I face each day. Best of all, I love my friends and family.  Hugs.  :)

Paul's Surgery - December 2000

Ten years ago Paul was in the hospital awaiting heart surgery. On Christmas 2000 we enjoyed a family Christmas with my sister and brother-in-law here from L.A. in addition to Paul, Laura, Griff and me. Paul's Uncle El and at least one other relative had dropped by for a visit that day too. This reminded me of some of our previous multi-generation Christmases in years past.

In the late afternoon, after most of the family had gone home, Paul and Griff were moving some large logs onto Griff's truck. We had cut down a large tree earlier in the year and were trying to make use of the remaining logs. This was also the year that Paul knew he needed to eventually have heart surgery. After helping to move the logs Paul said that maybe he shouldn't have done that and then he fell. I asked him if I should call 911 and he said no.

He got up and tried to walk toward the house but didn't get very far when he crashed and bumped his head and was definitely in trouble. We didn't ask him this time if he needed help. 911 was called and he was taken to UCSD Medical Center in Hillcrest as they have a trauma unit at that hospital. Thankfully Griff was still here as he was able to take Laura and me to the hospital.

Paul would be staying at the hospital at least overnight. The next day it was determined that he had a heart attack. All tests verified what we already knew, that he needed his aortic heart valve replaced. He probably needed bypass surgery too. Surgery was scheduled for the next to last day of the year.

On Saturday, December 30th Madeline and Steve took Laura and me to the hospital, and they waited and prayed with us while Paul spent many hours in surgery. Griff came from Valley Center to be with us too. Pastor Larry joined us in the long wait to find out how Paul was doing. When the surgeon finally finished the operation he came to tell us that Paul's heart valve had been replaced along with a double bypass and an aneurysm repaired in his aorta. The valve had been the worst one he had seen in his years as a surgeon. He would have done a triple bypass but Paul had spent enough time in surgery.

Paul was healing as expected and it would not be long till he could go home. But on January 2nd and then again two days later he had cardiac arrest. Each time he had to be shocked back into normal heart rhythm. One of those times he actually had two cardiac failures and was shocked back a third time. It is with much appreciation from me that the nurses did a good job. Imagine waking up to the phone call in the middle of the night that your loved one had been through this trauma. Thankfully Paul survived this crisis.

One morning when I went to visit him there were a number of heart doctors around his bed deciding what to do to prevent this from happening again. It was decided to implant a defibrillator-pacemaker, so on the 8th this procedure was done. He was in the hospital for three weeks, from Christmas until January 16th. He began 2001 in the hospital. He had not been allowed out of bed at all during those three weeks so needed to regain his strength to be able to walk again. He had a visiting nurse to check on him for a short time, as well as an occupational therapist to be sure he was ok.

I could end the saga here, but I want to share how God provides. Laura and I almost always had a ride to go see Paul in the hospital. It didn't matter whether it was raining or not, and we had a number of rainy days at that time. Friends and family took time out of their busy days to go see Paul and to take us to Hillcrest to the hospital. We barely had to use public transportation to make the trip. I remember going by bus on January 1st and making very good connections so even that day was a blessing. I don't remember any days with bad connections.

Then five years later when Paul broke his ankle we again experienced God's provision with rides each week. Paul needed to go to UCSD Medical Center in Hillcrest each week to have his ankle checked. He had surgery on his ankle and the incision was slow in healing so this was a concern. This meant a new cast every week for some time even though the bone was healing nicely. This also meant a need for a ride every week which we had from different friends and family. Paul was in a wheelchair for several months that time. And the wheelchair was from a neighbor. We are certainly blessed.  :)

December Markers

December is a month of many markers in the lives of those we love. We grow up looking forward to the arrival of Santa Claus as well as being able to see the beautiful decorations around town. Some of us enjoy December birthdays. My birthday is early in December so it is a good way to begin the celebrations. I officially met Paul in December when I was a teenager.

My friend Joan gave me a surprise sixteenth birthday party. This was my first birthday party other than family celebrations. It may have been a day or two before my birthday. We all went to the Village Theater to see a movie as part of the evening's events. After leaving the theater Joan saw her good friend George walking with a friend. She asked him to come to the party with us and he said he would if he could bring his friend. George introduced Paul to us and that is our official meeting, the day of my sixteenth birthday party.

Actually George is Paul's cousin by marriage as his late mother was married to Paul's late uncle. We are still good friends with George even though he lives in Seattle. He gets down once a year to see family and friends. We will see him next week. He would have come by today but we didn't want to share our colds. He is going to take us to see another cousin later next week.

Paul's mother also had a December birthday, the first day of winter. She also drew her final breath on her 60th birthday. Paul's mother was the best grandmother ever to our children. Nothing against my mother as she loved being a grandmother too. My mom was the lady with the paint overalls on and climbing a ladder to take care of business. Paul's mother was the grandma with apron on and a full cookie jar. They were both tops in what they could do. I need to find the Neil Morgan column that mentions my mother.

My brother-in-law, Sam Hamilton, also had a December birthday. His birthday was on the 13th. My sister Betty married Sam when my children were little. They are both gone now, but we have special memories of them over the years. Sam was in the Navy when he married my sister. They spent enough time in our area for our children to enjoy each other's company. They spent one year in Hawaii where their youngest son was born. They moved to Billings, Montana when Sam got out of the Navy. They came to San Diego on vacations and to help us when Mom died. We had vacations in Montana and went to Yellowstone with them. Mom and Frank used to go to Montana on annual vacations. Betty and Sam are survived by Gary, Elizabeth, Matthew and Mark. They also had four much loved grandchildren.

We also had a dear neighbor, Mary, that had a birthday on December 13th. She was 90 years old and is now in Heaven. Her son has been our neighbor since the seventies and continues to be a good neighbor.

I have other good friends with December birthdays. Betty Clark's birthday is on the third. Unless I am wrong and it is the first. It is right next to my birthday. One time I had a friend with my December second birthday. And an ex brother-in-law has the same birthday as me. He is one year older though. He is Arthur and Debra's father. (my nephew and niece)

In 1960 when our son Bill was an infant we lost my Grandma McDonaugh on December 26th. We lived just one block from her on F Avenue. It was so nice to have my grandma nearby along with one aunt and an uncle. My parents also lived on the same block so I was used to a lot of family nearby. Paul's family was all in town too. The day of my grandmother's funeral was the last time I saw some of my relatives as they mainly came to Coronado to see Grandma. Dad was the youngest son in a large family.

Two years later on December 26th our youngest son Griff was born. We had spent part of Christmas at my parents' new home in what is now Otay Mesa (West). They were in the first houses built in this area in the early sixties. We enjoyed the day with the children at my parents', and then at home in Coronado I tucked the children into their beds and then decided it was time to go to Mercy Hospital. I called Paul's father to take me as we had no car. We had to go on the ferry in the middle of the night to get to San Diego. When we were on the ferry I said to Pop that I wasn't real sure if I was in labor. He said,"You better be." It was not the most convenient time to be unsure. Good thing that I really was in labor and not having a false alarm. Our new baby boy was born the morning of December 26th. He was named Griffith Hughes Marvin after Paul's late grandfather Griffith Hughes Jones.

Enough of my December musings. Time to do my Christmas cards or December 25th will come and go without sending many greetings. "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11

Next Monday on December 13th we are anticipating the birth of another baby boy. Jacob will be born to our granddaughter Rebecca Jean and Jason Van Maanen.

Image credits:AlicePopkorn; Foxtongue; *L*u*z*A*

December 7th

We remember Pearl Harbor today. This has been a day to remember those lost during a most disastrous time in U.S. history. Some remember that day in 1941 as if it were yesterday. The numbers of those that were there are quickly dwindling. I was a child living in Washington state at the time and the only thing about that period of time that I recall is what has been repeated to me. My dad told about hearing the news on the radio while the rest of the family was in church. He had been sitting with us, so the story goes, but went outside with my youngest sister who was a toddler at the time. (He said he had pinched her so he could take her outside).

Paul's Aunt Helen Wyatt was in Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 as her husband was stationed there aboard one of the ships. Uncle Ernest and his shipmates missed being attacked as their ship was out of the harbor that particular day. Aunt Helen was at home with their little daughter Jean. I do not recall any more details except to say their family lived to tell about it. I got to know Jean when we were both in fourth grade together in Coronado.

Paul's first recollection of the war was when his dad and their family friend, Bruce, were slaughtering the bunnies for the family to eat while they were away.  The men had to go to war, but first they made sure the family would have food on the table. Not that the family really wanted to eat the bunnies. There are a lot of hard realities in life and killing for food is one of them. Killing during war is an even worse reality. Thankfully the menfolk Paul knew all came home from the war. I also did not suffer any loss in my family. My father was not well and did not pass the physical to go into the military.

Today, December 7, 2010, finds our friends, the Branneys, suffering a big loss in their family. I received a call this morning from Ron Branney that his dear wife, Kathy, had gone to be with the Lord. He is at peace about this as he knows the Lord and has been praying with her and is sure that she was ready to meet the Lord. He got the call from the doctor at four A.M. He was ready for the call and feels she is in a better place now. We will be here for him when he needs an ear to hear. Right now he has family with him. I pray that they find the peace that their father has. Kathy had serious health issues for quite some time and experienced numerous hospitalizations.

Kathy Branney was my Scrabble friend. Playing Scrabble will not be the same with anyone else. She and I played mostly for fun and bent a few rules. We played hours on end and divided the wins, but she often won more than me. Originally, in the eighties, we would play once a week. But in recent years we would go months without a game. We played once this fall and maybe just a few times all year. I first met Kathy because her oldest and my youngest son were friends. We are neighbors, but they live around the block from us. The boys met in fifth grade and were good friends for a number of years. They both grew up and went their separate ways. But Rick still asks me about Griff.

A little more than a year ago Ron invited Paul to go to his Saturday morning Bible Study group with him. I was surprised when Paul said yes and went. Paul loves to read the Bible but is more of a loner so I was pleased he decided to go with Ron. He needs fellowship with other men as well as studying the Bible. This is a group from Ron's church and they meet in a restaurant in Chula Vista. I'm also glad Paul and Ron are getting to know each other better. For a long time Ron teased me that I didn't have a husband as Paul never went with me to their parties and it took a long time for them to meet each other.

As in many relationships there were words left unsaid. I should have spoken more about the Lord. I needed to say "I'm sorry" as well as telling her I appreciated her. Who else do I need to apologize to, or to say something to lift them up? The Bible tells us to care for one another and to be kind to one another. We learn these lessons in Sunday School, but do we take them with us throughout life? It does help to get enough sleep and not get grumpy. Sometimes people see the worst in us because we are having a bad day. I don't want people to see the worst in me so I better stay close to the Lord and be filled with His Spirit. "Rejoice in the Lord always" Philippians 4:4

Five years ago today Paul and I were in North Carolina with our son Bill. This was one of the two trips Paul and I took to the Atlantic coast to spend time with our son. We enjoyed two ferry rides and the islands along the coast of NC on December 7th 2005. I enjoyed seeing the lighthouses; and of course Paul and Bill were birding throughout the whole trip. We are looking forward to Bill coming to San Diego in the very near future.

Next week we will have another milestone in our family. Paul and I will welcome the first of our next generation to our family. Actually I wish I could be in Colorado to welcome little Jacob into the fold on December 13th. Becky has a C section scheduled for Monday. Our daughter Kathy will be a grandmother. What a blessing.  This blessing is on my late brother-in-law, Sam Hamilton's, birthday. We will be thinking of Sam that day too.

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.          1 Corinthians 15:54-58

Image credits: .:[ Melissa ]:.; twob

My Most Unusual Job

When we first moved to this house in 1973 we were warmly welcomed by many of the neighbors and I had opportunity to get to know some of them quite well. Some of us were in and out of each other's homes a number of times a week. We had children of various ages and some of them were friends with each other. My youngest was ten years old and the oldest was out of high school. I baby sat for some of the little ones in our court. Over the years we have seen the first babies grow up and have babies of their own. Some have stayed in our neighborhood. I'm like a grandmother to some of "my" original babies. I baby sat for them until they were too old for such things. 

It was fun when we were first on the block and the children came over to play board games. As the years went by the little ones that I baby sat for enjoyed card games as well as some newer board games. I can't remember how to play most of those games anymore. One game we learned and I want to relearn is Backgammon. I spent a lot of time at several of the other houses as I baby sat in their homes mostly. I don't get to the other homes much anymore, or have neighbors here, as things change over the years. There are neighbors who would enjoy a friendly visit, I'm sure.

One neighbor, who was a good friend, had a Santa Clause business that she inherited from her father. She hired Santas for different shopping centers. She had beautiful Santa suits, wigs and beards for the Santas to use. One year she hired another neighbor and me to wash and groom the wigs and beards. This was a fun time for neighbor chit chat and keeping our hands busy. We were both novices at this grooming wigs and beards business but I guess it was satisfactory. Say wigs and beards real fast several times and you get "bigs and wierds." The Santa business didn't last too many more years due to a divorce. This was sad since her father started the business.

So my longest job was caring for some of the neighbor children. And the most unusual was grooming wigs and beards. My shortest lasting job was when my neighbor helped me get a job bagging groceries at the commissary at North Island. I always thought that bagging groceries would be a good job for me. Well that was one of my worst days ever. If anything could go wrong it did. I had a ride each way with my neighbor and was crying on the way home. I refused to go back. It wasn't like they had my name written on a contract. I didn't even get the name tag I was supposed to wear. Of course that was cause for criticism. As for doing the job, I did my best, even following instruction. That was a negative. It wasn't as if I had never worked in a store before. I worked at an old variety store in Coronado for more than a year. It was a good job.

My favorite job is being a mother and grandmother, as well as being a wife. That is one reason child care works nicely for me. But I think I'm retired from that, unless family really needed me to help. I loved caring for my granddaughters when they were little and lived in San Diego. Now they live in Colorado and are adults with their own responsibilities. Melissa works in a preschool and goes to college. Becky is expecting her baby any day now. 

Image Credits: LadyDragonflyCC; Aoife city womanchile

Well Laid Plans

Each year I think I will finish our Christmas cards early, but each December finds me needing to address the many cards I intend to mail. I made some cards earlier this year as I did last year. It is fun to be creative and to use old cards to make new ones. I would make all of the cards if possible. I also have some other nice cards to send to friends and family so have plenty to choose from.

I sent a small amount of Thanksgiving cards and was able to get most of them in the mail early. This should have been the pattern to follow for our Christmas greetings too. We have received some beautiful Christmas cards already and I have yet to address any. It is always a pleasant surprise to find Christmas cards tucked among my birthday cards early in December each year.

Plans go out the window when you get sick. I managed to get a bad cold and did not want to leave my chair for several days. All scheduled events had to go on without me. I missed my own birthday if that included going someplace. But I wasn't forgotten by friends and family. I am truly blessed. But I would have loved to be at Bible Study at FBC and share in the baby shower for one of our sweet ladies. I also missed an event I was scheduled for at Westview Bible Church. I did not want to share this cold.

Sorry to say that Paul and Laura now have colds too. So guess none of us will be in Church tomorrow. I hate to miss going to either Westview or to our old Church in Coronado. I have strong ties to Coronado and newer ties to Westview in Imperial Beach. Both are precious to me. How can I leave the place that has been home for so many years? Laura is very happy just going to Westview. Paul would probably be happy going along with Laura. But I am not ready to let go of the place that has been such a blessing for so long. They have been so good to us. For now we mainly go to the place nearer home which is Westview. But Paul and I get to Coronado at least once a month. And I stay active with the Ladies Bible Study at First Baptist Church in Coronado.

This was intended to be about sending Christmas greetings and also about well made plans. The greetings will be sent, hopefully not late. The calendar may be full but I have to be willing to let go of things if need be. I want to do each activity planned and that would have been nice this week. But we never know what tomorrow may bring. Last week my sister, Donna, wasn't going to come down for Thanksgiving since she had a bad cold. But on Thanksgiving eve her brother-in-law died so Donna and Fred's plans were changed. They needed to come to be with his family in Chula Vista. So we got to see them after all. But it was a sad time for their family.

During the year I have thoughts of what I would like to do for loved ones at Christmas. As time passes it becomes obvious that these plans are not possible. We always have to minimize what we do. It is a good thing that it is the thought that counts because that is mostly what we give now days. A small package for each grandchild and for our four children are at the top of the list. Postage costs more than what they contain, some years. I have other small gifts on the list that I try to buy. I consider cards to be the main part of our Christmas giving. Jesus is the Reason for the Season. Trying to share that precious message is the most important thing for me.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Image credits:Jerine; calsidyrose; Lauren Manning

Reflections on Friendship

We all have such unique and various personalities. Some of us are ready to make friends with people we have never met before, and others are much too shy to be the first to speak. I guess most of us fall someplace in between these two extremes. I have been shy at times but that is not my usual stance. My mother never knew a stranger as she was ready to speak to anyone who would listen. I'm somewhat like that as I am interested in many of the people I encounter in my daily activities. I have made new friends over the years. I also stay in touch with those I have known for years.

There are people I know who are somewhat shy but they can be friendly if given the chance. Some just don't know what to say to keep a conversation going, but they want to be part of the action. Some are just waiting for us to draw them into our conversation.

Do you ever look at a class picture and wonder about the quiet student that was in each picture over the years, but you did not know him or her? Maybe that classmate had been there since kindergarten but you had never spoken to her. She may have had a few friends but you had no idea one way or the other. You were busy with your own friends and activities. The shy student was not your concern.

I have more than one example of this. When I meet someone who graduated a certain year, and I mention someone I know from that year, and they have no idea who I'm talking about, I am disheartened. I try to say something to help the discomfort, but nothing really makes a difference. 

Was I one of the unaware participants in neglecting a fellow student? One of my classmates wrote in the 50th reunion memory book that she didn't have any good memories from high school. What a sad commentary. I feel bad for her. Could I have made a difference if I had not been wrapped up in my own circle of friends. And I had problems of my own to deal with. But I always had friends and do have good memories.

I know more than one person not interested in going to high school reunions as their experience in school was not so great. I was sometimes hesitant to go to reunions and missed some, but I wish I had gone to more reunions. I was not one of the in crowd but I never lacked for friends so don't know why I was apprehensive about going. I could understand if I had been without friends and was hesitant to go. I have enjoyed each reunion I have attended.

My sister Donna enjoys reunions, but she likes all parties. Classmates do remember her. Who could forget Donna McDonaugh? I met one of her classmates recently and of course he knew who she was. I met a classmate of my other sister and he had no idea who I was talking about. Betty had been in Coronado since kindergarten. I know she had some friends. She may have been shy though. She did not get to go to any reunions because she lived too far away and never got any information about them. Betty had hoped to go to her 50th reunion though, but died the year before.

My daughter Kathy may have been shy but she had a kind way about her. I like to brag about something she did that is very special in my book. She was a good friend to one of the most picked on girls in the whole school. I don't know what started it, but Sherry was the victim  of a lot of mean actions. Now days the schools make a big deal about bullies, but maybe they did not know what was happening to Kathy's friend. I don't know what made me powerless to say something. Some things were so subtle though.

So that quiet or shy student may be someone that you would want in your corner when you are without hope.

"Be kind to one another"