We were warned it would not be a bed of roses when we got married, but we did not want to hear that. We saw older couples walking their separate paces, not hand in hand. That was not going to be us. We were two kids in love and ignored any negatives of what might be in store for us.
Paul was always the quiet one and I was the talker. He did not always want to go where I wanted to go so I missed some activities with friends to be with him. But we were blind to the implications. I was determined to marry him. It was going to be a happy family with cute cottage and white picket fence for me. That is all I ever wanted. I was never one to be a party girl even though I enjoyed being with my friends. They would not be put before my husband.
Our Pastor was on his annual vacation so we asked a favorite retired minister to officiate at the wedding. But before the big day he had a bad experience at the dentist and ended up with a broken jaw. His wife was also a retired minister so she was able to do the wedding for us. They were a sweet couple who had their golden anniversary that same year.
My Uncle George paid a friend of his to be the photographer at the wedding and reception so we have nice pictures of our special day. My sister Betty attended the guest book. It is fun to look at this book now and remember August 15, 1954. We used the same book at our golden wedding anniversary celebration in 2004, also on August 15th at two o'clock PM. Both big days were on a Sunday.
After the reception Paul's brother took us to the motel in San Diego where we would spend the next five days. Paul had to work as he had no vacation time. He was working for the city of San Diego and had not been there long enough to even take time for a honeymoon. So we did the best we could by getting a motel across the street from his job at the old city administration building on Pacific Highway. The city and county shared the same building then. It is the county administration building now.
Our friends were mostly teenagers and wanted to have some fun. They were determined to discover our "honeymoon" location. The motel manager knew we did not want to be disturbed, but our friends pretty much figured out where we were and kept calling. The manager got tired of the calls and finally came to our door one evening to have me go to the office to take a call. Not good timing as I had to throw a robe on and head to the office a few doors down. Paul was comfortable in bed with the blankets pulled up high, and I did not pull the door shut as I should. Some kids stood there and stared at him and he could not do a thing about it. I learned a lesson that day that has stayed with me all these years. Properly close doors. We have never shared this story with anyone before as far as I can remember.
We enjoyed our time in San Diego that week during the hours that Paul was not at work. He also got away from work during lunchtime. We enjoyed eating dinner at a nice restaurant on the same block as the motel. We also went to other favorite restaurants. That was our big luxury.
Back in Coronado we stayed at our dear friend Rosalie's house for a week or two while she was out of town. We also stayed at Paul's parents house while they were on a vacation. Paul's brother was still at home and I tried to cook for him as well as us. I was still learning to cook so I'm sure Charlie was happy when his mother was back in the kitchen. We finally got a little garage apartment on C Avenue, in the alley. It was near Paul's aunt's home on C Avenue.
We were supposed to move to San Diego as Paul was working for the city of San Diego. He was just in a temporary type of job unless they decided to keep him. It is a good thing we stayed in Coronado near family and friends as his job didn't become permanent. I was still in school in Coronado. It was scary to not have steady income. He got a number of small jobs along the way. One job was working for Whitney's Department Store in San Diego during the Christmas Season. He worked in the mail room. He liked the people he worked with as he did when he worked for the city.
We did not have money to spare for Christmas gifts or any extras. I so much wanted to get him a new Bible for Christmas. It was a new translation and the church had some available. Our Pastor knew that I wanted to do this. On Christmas, or the day before, we had a surprise visit from one of our church friends. He brought the Bible that I wanted to give Paul. What a sweet blessing.
Before that, in October, I wanted to do something for his birthday. There were no funds so I got creative. I wrote a poem for him. I wish I knew where to find it now, but maybe it would not be what I remember it to be. Paul did not really appreciate poetry, even what was written for him. I was warned it would not be a bed of roses. I think he might have liked the kittens I brought home, around that time, a little better than the poetry. We have always had cats ever since then.
I remember when our cupboard was bare and we had an invite to one of our parents homes for dinner. He did not want to go. Did not matter that a home cooked meal sounded so good to me. Maybe that was the first fight. Actually we rarely fought. Would not have done much good. In those days I pretty much did what he wanted to do. I probably took a while to learn to go without him. It would be nicer to do things together if possible.
My dream was to do things together like my parents did. They even worked together. I thought all couples helped each other as my parents did. Oh, it was not a bed of roses for them either, but they were together. They had some serious fights though. I can remember my whole family washing the car together which made doing the job fun. Paul was not going to fall into that pattern.
Paul's mother bought us a board game for our first Christmas. Her idea was so nice, that we would have something fun to do together. We never played that game. In all the years we have been together about the only time just the two of us played a game together we had a tie. How funny. We have played some games with our dear friends, Madeline and her late husband Steve. They have been about the only people to be able to get him to go along with the planned games. I used to play a lot of games with our children.
This is not a bashing husbands blog post. I love my husband dearly and am glad we are still together after all these years. We almost got divorced at one time. We were apart for half a year and had started the divorce process. I'm so glad that we did not go through with what we had started. We actually need each other. It has not been easy, even after getting back together. But there are more pluses than minuses.
I may not have my white picket fence but I am happy where I'm at. Mainly I know where my final home will be. I have a home waiting for me in heaven with Jesus. I would not have been so confident of this when I was first married. I had not understood that we needed a personal relationship with our Lord. I was blind, but now I see. If it weren't for Paul I may have wandered in darkness longer. Even though we always went to church I did not necessarily hear the message. Thankfully I had a praying grandmother. I also married a Christian. Paul may not be perfect, but none of us are. And he does not complain about me. I am blessed. He does not fuss at me. I may fuss but he keeps his mouth shut.
It wasn't until 1961, when we were the parents of three children, that we joined the First Baptist Church in Coronado. Our fourth child would be born almost two years later in December of 1962. So the children mainly grew up going to our favorite little church in Coronado.
My prayer is that each of our children would know the Lord and follow Him all the days of their lives. I pray for the very best for my husband, for health and strength, for comfort and joy. Thankfully he reads the Bible and prays daily. He is very organized in his plans for this each day. He has always kept a daily log of what he does. Originally it was a journal and now he writes in a Daytimer or a notebook. I would love to be so consistent.
My heart and hugs go to my dear husband and my children. And hugs to each one that reads my writings. Love you :)
"A man shall cling to his wife and the two shall become one" is the verse on the front of the invitation to our daughter Kathy and her husband John's wedding.
Wonderful post - and great example of the hardships and joys of marriage. Hugs to you!
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