Thoughts on August

On August 15, 1954 Paul and I said our marriage vows in the old Methodist Church in Coronado, California. This was my parents' nineteenth wedding anniversary. After this I would never forget their anniversary and they would not forget mine. Paul and I were teenage sweethearts looking forward to our years together. We had a sweet wedding with many friends and family present on a lovely Sunday afternoon.

A year later on August 28th our first baby daughter was born at the Coronado Hospital. Kathleen Jean Marvin weighed eight pounds plus one and a half ounces. She shared my middle name Jean. My dad was known as Gene so my name was partly from him. Kathy was born on a Sunday which is my favorite day of the week.

Paul was in the Army at Fort Ord and not able to get away to see his new baby girl for another week. He had a weekend leave and barely had time to visit us for a day or two before he had to head back to his training at the base. Kathy was a week old when he saw her. Then again when she was six weeks old he was able to get to Coronado again to see us. Back to Fort Ord and more training. After this Paul spent eight weeks in Colorado in a tent in the snow getting ready to go to Korea where he spent sixteen months. Thankfully this was after the war. But it was not easy for us to be apart for almost all of his time in the Army. As it was, Paul only saw his new little daughter those two times during her first year and a half. Not a good way to start a new family.

Since these are my thoughts on August I will get back to my theme. Kathy spent her first birthday with her Grandma and Granddad Marvin and me on the trip we took that summer. We had gone to Washington state to see my grandma and other Davenports there. We were on the way home from Washington on little Kathy's first birthday. Yes, Paul's parents took me on this trip to see my grandmother. They were going to Canada so decided to take Kathy and me to Washington. They were always good to me and were great with their grandchildren.

On Kathy's second birthday I was in the hospital after having surgery. Kathy spent her birthday and many other days with her Grandma and Granddad Marvin. I'm sure my parents and sister Betty would have spent some of that time with Kathy. She was the darling of the family. My parents loved being grandparents as much as Paul's parents did. My sisters loved their role as aunts.

By this time my sister Donna was married and living in Los Angeles with her new husband. They were expecting their first baby by this time. Their baby was expected in September. I was expecting our second baby and she would be born in March of 1958.

We now celebrate another August birthday as our granddaughter Melissa Joy Golden was born August 16, 1988. She joined big sister Rebecca Jean Golden who was born four years earlier in September of 1984. Missy was born on Whidbey Island in Washington state and Becky was born in the Navy Hospital in San Diego. Their Daddy John Golden was in the Navy at the time.

It has been a blessing to be a grandmother and I have enjoyed spending time with Kathy and John's girls over the years. The girls are grown up now and Becky is a Mommy to Jacob who was born in December of 2010. They all live in Colorado.

My sister Donna became a grandmother six years before I did. Her first grandson, David, was born August 6th, probably in 1978. My sister Betty's first grandchild was also born on August 6th. Brittany is twenty one this year so she would have been born in 1990.

We have had other August weddings and birthdays over the years. Becky and Jay were married August 8th last year so they recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary. They had a sweet backyard wedding with their close friends and family. I'm sorry to have missed their special day. But Laura and I were at the restaurant with the family when they announced their engagement. Becky and Jay also came to San Diego for their honeymoon so we got to see the newlyweds.

So in August we have many birthdays to celebrate as well as wedding anniversaries to remember. There may not be any holidays in August, but we can celebrate life and love. The next month we also have many loved ones to remember. We are certainly blessed.

top photo- Caroline and Paul
next photo- Paul
last picture- Becky and baby Jacob

We Welcome Xola Jo To The World

We received the phone call from Elizabeth to let us know that she was a new grandmother. The first time she tried to call me I was not home and Paul talked to her. She didn't tell him what she had called to tell me though. The next time she called I said "congratulations" before she could give me the happy news. I had read Andrew's Facebook page sharing that he is a daddy.

Andrew's announcement reads "Xola was born 11:02 last night 19in. 6lbs 3.5oz. Shes beautiful =D"

This means that she was born on May 19th, 2011. We assumed that her name was Xola Elizabeth as had been mentioned earlier to Andrew's mother, my niece Elizabeth. It turns out that her name is Xola Jo. We are not sure yet if she has the last name Hamilton like her daddy or Martin like her mommy Natasha. We will see.

Elizabeth has step grandchildren, but this is the first of her own grandchildren. Although she calls Jack's grandchildren hers. He has a large family so between them there are a lot of grandchildren. I can only keep track of Elizabeth's children Andrew and Elijah and the children they will have. My sister Betty is not here to share the good news about her new great granddaughter so I will be excited for her. My sister Donna will also share in the happy event.

Elizabeth is my niece that came to visit in 1980 and stayed for five years. So she is like a daughter to me. My other niece Debra is also close to me even though there are miles between us. Elizabeth and Jack are in Missouri. Debra and Pete are in Washington state with their family. They also have grandchildren.

Families are part of God's plan. "God created man in His own image. He created male and female and blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply'..." These words are taken from Genesis 1:27,28. The Bible is full of stories about families beginning with Adam and Eve and their children. When the flood came upon the earth God saved Noah and his family. There are many precious stories of fathers and their sons in the Old Testament. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem He was part of a loving family.

I love my family and pray for each one to know the peace and joy that comes from knowing God. This includes nephews and nieces as well as my own children. May God bless Andrew, Natasha and little baby Xola Jo. May God bless Andrew's brother Elijah. May God bless Elizabeth's brothers Gary, Matthew and Mark. And may God bless each of Xola's cousins, especially Brittany and Michael (Bubba). I hope and pray for the very best for each one. Children are a gift from God. Hugs :)

My First Mother's Day

In May of 1956 I was looking forward to my first Mother's Day. Paul was in Korea and would not be home to celebrate this special day with me. In fact he would be away until the following spring. Kathy had been born in August of 1955 and her daddy had only seen her on two short visits home. It would have been a lonely time for me, but I had my family nearby and I kept busy. I loved being a mother despite my very young age. I was just eighteen years old when Kathy was born. I was nineteen that December.

My sisters were often with me and enjoyed the role of being aunts. Donna and Betty were in high school. Donna was a senior and Betty was a sophomore at Coronado High School. Donna had some friends that were planning a bridal shower for one of her good friends. Since Donna was at my house more than she was at home with Mom and Dad she invited her friends to use my house for the shower. My sisters and I did not do anything to get into trouble. In fact we went to Sunday School and Church. We did not drink or smoke. We may have tried these things at one time, but we did not enjoy them.

It was the evening before Mother's Day when the shower was held at my house. I barely knew Donna's friends. They planned an after shower party too and that didn't sound good to me, but I was promised all would be well. The bridal shower went well. Then a bunch of friends of Donna's friends showed up. I was not outspoken as I would be now days. I was intimidated by these people. And I had laryngitis so could barely speak. I hid out in my room. There was only a curtain for a door between the front room and my bedroom so I was aware of the drinking. When they started throwing up I gained enough strength to say "get out of my house."

My neighbors certainly did not appreciate what was happening. I think somebody even called the police. They would not have known I was an innocent victim in all of this. The police may have talked to some of the kids outside, but I was not approached. Actually some of the kids knew the police so nothing happened. I'm not discrediting the police though, as I don't know for sure what took place. The next morning I saw evidence of the drinking in my yard. What would my neighbors think of me now? I never knew.

The next morning I got up as I did every Sunday morning and got little Kathy and myself ready for church. It was my first Mother's Day. I was not about to miss church.

Over the years I was impressed with the mothers being honored on Mother's Day during church. There would be flowers for the mother with the most children. There were flowers for the oldest mother. And there were other honors including the youngest mother. I just knew I would be honored for being the youngest mother. How could anyone else be the youngest mother there that day? I was also faithful in being there. I was even there on a day that I was sick with a sore throat. I had to be there. It was my first Mother's Day.

You can probably see this coming. The mother with the youngest baby got the flowers instead. My baby was eight months old. There was a mother with a new baby and she was recognized. I was hoping nobody realized that I was disappointed. I wanted to save face. I guess I was cool about it. My moment was not to be. Hopefully I learned something positive in this experience.

As I got older I knew not to expect laurels for just doing my job. The best I can receive is knowing my children appreciate me. It is an honor to be the mother of my four dear children. It is an extra blessing to be a grandmother and a great grandmother. Love to each one. Hugs  :)

The Trip

The summer of 1956 just before our daughter Kathy was one year old, and Paul was in Korea, I had a wonderful opportunity to go on a trip to see my grandmother. I was nineteen years old and had not seen my maternal grandma since I was barely thirteen years old. In that time I had gone from childhood, and through the difficult teen years, to being a young wife and mother.

In those days we didn't get to go on vacations, even to see much loved grandparents. We didn't make long distance phone calls either. The last time I saw Grandma she was standing beside my grandfather on the porch of their old farmhouse waving goodbye to our family right after Christmas of 1949. We had just spent much of the last year with them on the farm near Bellingham, Washington. We were heading back to California where I spent most of my childhood years. I didn't know that this would be the last time we would see our grandfather.

My sisters and I were blessed to live near our other grandparents when we lived in Coronado. But by the time I was in high school we had lost both grandfathers. Grandma McDonaugh still lived in the same house that I always remember, on the corner of third and F, until the day she died in 1960. My grandparents moved there when my father was a young boy. My husband was also blessed to live near his grandparents in Coronado, but none were still living by the time we met and got married.

Baby Kathy was the first grandchild for Paul's parents and my parents. My two sisters enjoyed the role of being aunts and spent much time with Kathy and me. I'm sure Paul's brother enjoyed being an uncle too. We had a lot of family to nurture us while Paul was in Korea. He was gone for most of Kathy's first year and a half. Paul only got to see Kathy once when she was a week old and another time when she was six weeks old. He was in the U.S.Army, not by choice.

Paul's parents were planning a vacation which would take them into Canada. They decided to take Kathy and me with them and leave us with my relatives in Washington while they went to Canada. This was a wonderful opportunity for me to see my Grandma Davenport. This was a chance for me to see other relatives that I loved too. I also got to meet my younger cousins that were not even born yet when I was there in 1949. One cousin was born when I was on the farm in '49. They are my mother's brother's children. Grandma lived with their family by this time in 1956.

I would get to stay at my great aunt and uncle's near where Grandma lived. In that farm area which is in Laurel, near Bellingham, we had a lot of family. Some great aunts and uncles had lived in that area for years. Others had lived there when my mother was little. This was going to be a real treat for me to see so much family.

On our trip in Paul's parent's car we had quite the arrangement. This was before seat belts, and car seats for babies. Paul's father, who I called Pop as Paul did, was very organized as he arranged everything in the car. We did not have a portable crib so Pop dismantled the crib every morning and put it together every evening wherever we were staying. The mattress fit nicely in the back seat for little Kathy to spend the trip on. She could crawl around and sleep as she needed to. Can you imagine this now days when a infant seat is a must? The crib fit on top of the car and everything had its assigned place in the car. I fit in the front seat with Paul's parents.

We enjoyed this time traveling from Coronado to Bellingham with the four of us getting along nicely. We had other family members to see along the way. I got to see an uncle and aunt in Oakland, as well as two cousins in that area, either on the way north or on the way home. We saw some of the Marvin relatives in Oregon on the way north. We enjoyed a ferry ride in San Francisco heading north. We enjoyed the Redwoods and all the other sights along the way.

Arriving at my Aunt Naomi and Uncle John's brought back many good memories. They had a sweet little house in Laurel, near my Uncle Ray and Aunt Jeanne's old farmhouse that was once my great grandparents' home. That is where my grandma was living as she was not able to be alone on her own farm any more. She got to be with my little cousins too. She helped raise my sisters and me when we were little and she loved children, so I'm sure being with Diedra, Dagna, Steven and Larry was a blessing for her.

Paul's parents got to enjoy their time in Canada while I made new memories with family. It would be many many years before I got back. My other greats came to see Kathy and me. They also met my dear in-laws. None of them ever got to meet my husband in all the years we have been together. Actually Diedra and Dagna eventually met Paul when they grew up and visited us. Paul may have eventually met Uncle Ray when we finally went to Washington in the later years. But my grandma never got to meet Paul. My sisters and I called Ray "Uncle Junior"as some of the family called him Junior. He was Mom's younger brother.

After a week or so I had to say goodbye to Grandma and the rest of the Davenports. It had been a sweet time. I would not get back to Washington for twenty five years. It would be 1981 when some of my children and I made the trip to Laurel. Kathy would be the main driver on that journey. Grandma and most of the greats were with the Lord by then.

On the way home from visiting Grandma we made two stops to visit more Davenports. We visited and stayed over night with another great aunt and uncle near Tacoma. Then we stayed over night at a favorite of my mother's cousins and his dear family at Seaside, Oregon. They used to visit us whenever they were in San Diego. We also stayed the night with them in 1981 when we were heading north, after we visited Great Aunt Naomi in a nursing home in Portland.

The senior Marvins had friends to visit in Oregon after we left my cousins in Seaside. We stayed overnight with these friends too. We found so much hospitality along the way during this memorable trip.

Kathy got to celebrate her first birthday while we were headed home on our vacation. We also took one picture of her in the same place that her daddy had his picture taken as he was traveling when he was a baby. So many memories to treasure. Remembering them after all these years is a pleasure. It was a blessing for me to have this opportunity to take my mind off the loneliness of my husband being in Korea for so long.

Family Beginnings

We had been married nine months and I was expecting our first child when Paul was drafted into the U.S.Army in May of 1955. We were just 18 and 21 years old. I had not yet graduated from high school, but would in just a month. Some may have considered me to still be a child. As far as I was concerned I was all grown up and wanting to be a good wife and mother. We had recently moved into the house that Paul's grandmother had owned. It now belonged to Paul's Uncle Ivor and he rented it to us.

It was so hard for us to say goodbye to each other, after all we were still newlyweds. Paul would be going to basic training at Fort Ord. He would miss my graduation from Coronado High School. I would miss him so very much. I finished high school and was glad to be able to graduate with my classmates. I hoped that I didn't show my pregnancy too much. I probably did though. The baby was due in August, a year after we got married.

I still enjoyed the friendships I had always enjoyed. I have always been blessed with friends. If I had not repeated first grade I would have graduated the year before so wouldn't have been married and still going to school. But I was in the class I was meant to be in with the friends I loved.

Paul and I were faithful in our letter writing the whole two years he was in the Army. I wrote every day. I'm sure he did too when it was possible. We still have these letters someplace in our many collections.

When Paul was finished with basic training his parents and I traveled together to Fort Ord to bring him back to Coronado. I always enjoyed a good relationship with Paul's parents. They were good to me all through the years.

Paul was fair of skin as he was a redhead, so he was very sunburned after being outside so much during basic training. His lips were the main thing that were burned and blistered. His friends wondered if he would still be able to kiss me. That didn't stop us from enjoying our longed for embrace and kiss.

After his alloted time in Coronado he headed back to Fort Ord for continued training. Another sad goodbye for us. More faithful letter writing too. I know it was not easy for Paul to be away and he had a lot to deal with in the Army. But I can't really tell his story. I can only tell my part of the story.

Sometime that summer, before our baby girl was born, my classmates gave me a baby shower. I received everything I would need for our precious little one. We really needed everything so I was very thankful for all the baby clothes and extras.

On Sunday, August 28th the time had come for me to go to the hospital in Coronado. I think it was Paul's parents who took me to the hospital. It was my mother who spent a lot of that long day beside my bed. It was not an easy delivery as the doctor had to use forceps to deliver our baby. Kathleen Jean Marvin was 8 lbs. 1 1/2 oz. and sported a bruised nose after such a difficult birth. She had a large head which is a family trait on her Daddy's side of the family.

Paul's parents got the news to him that he was a Daddy. I was in the hospital for five days as I needed that much time to heal and get my strength back. When Kathy and I left the hospital we went to my parent's house for a few days. But I really needed Paul to be there. This was the only time I ever got weepy after having a baby.

The happiest time for me was when Paul managed to get home, as he had a weekend leave during that period of time. Kathy was a week old then. It was a precious time for Paul and me. But it was too soon when Paul had to head back to Fort Ord.

The next time I saw Paul our baby was six weeks old. It was another quick weekend trip for Paul. Tears were shed when he left as we didn't have any idea when we would see each other again. He would spend eight weeks at Fort Carson, Colorado in a tent in the snow before heading to Fort Lewis, Washington. Next assignment would be Korea where he spent sixteen months. More snow and a lot of hot weather too.

One good thing that happened to Paul was that he ended up being a Chaplain's assistant while in Korea. That didn't happen right away, but it happened. He also played the organ for Chapel services. We didn't have E mail or phone calls in those days. We had to wait for our letters and they were sometimes delayed. Paul was in Korea after the war there, but he was on the DMZ and it could be dangerous. We didn't see Paul from the time Kathy was six weeks old until she was more than a year and a half old. He got home in time for Easter in 1957.

This was a time of getting to know each other all over again. Kathy had to get acquainted with her Daddy that she did not know at all. This was a difficult time as Paul didn't even know how to be a Daddy. This had not been a good way to begin our family. The struggle would continue. I had seen him being so sweet with his new little baby the two times he had seen her. This would have been the picture if he had stayed home. I thought this would be the picture when he got home. It was not so simple as that. I'm sure other families have discovered this too. It was always a challenge to be the family I had so romantically pictured.