Following Him

When I first came to the realization that I needed to really know God it was an eye opening experience. I did not have a problem with really believing in Him. I needed to learn what it really is to follow Him. I do not know the exact moment I accepted Jesus, but I do know the year that I had changes in my life.

I was twenty three years old and expecting our third child when I became aware of needing a personal walk with Jesus. I could have begun this memorable time just before I was pregnant. But I remember Paul coming home from work with a renewed 'enthusiasm' for the Lord. He had a good friend that was on fire for the Lord and it seemed to have rubbed off on Paul. Paul was already a Christian so this was mainly a time of growth for him. I would have thought I was already a Christian as I had always gone to church and Sunday school.

The reason I remember I was pregnant is because I got the mumps during the early stages of my pregnancy and this was around that time. Paul got the mumps from his friend at work. Paul had them bad and knew to stay home in bed, not like his friend did. I was already expecting our baby at that time. When I got the mumps I only had them on one side but I spent time in bed despite having two little girls to care for. I remember being in bed and beginning to read the large family Bible that we had. Baby steps in being a new Christian.

Kathy and Laura got the mumps around that same time also. With children there always seemed to be times of illness to remember. But reading to them from a favorite set of books as well as Bible stories is what I remember most. Bedtime prayers were always part of the evening ritual. It was also fun to sing the songs we knew from Sunday school as well as other favorites.

Another event that happened when I was pregnant was when Paul and I were baptized in the ocean at Rosarito Beach south of the border. Paul's friend had been baptized there as he had connections with a little church in Tijuana where his wife was from. He made arrangements for us to be baptized down there too. It was a memorable day spent with our friend and his family and friends from the little church south of the border. I do not have photos but it is imprinted in my mind. This was 1960 and Rosarito Beach was completely different than it is today. We had the beach to ourselves near the old hotel that has been there for generations.

We were still in the Methodist church at that time. We were there until our baby boy was a few months old, early in 1961. Over the years we had visited First Baptist in Coronado on occasion when there were visiting evangelists. After we went to hear the evangelist in 1961 we were drawn to our little Baptist church in Coronado. Pastor Lyon was there at that time and we liked him a lot. The people of First Baptist were very welcoming and we decided to join the church that spring. This was a time of growth for us. I enjoyed becoming active there.

Another thing I remember when Paul and I were going through so many changes is wanting to share the message with family and friends. I was awkward at it and all I really accomplished was letting people know that there was something different about me. It took me a long time to be comfortable with this new me. I still struggle on how to share this good news. But it is a part of me and not something to be uncomfortable about. I remember one neighbor and friend who called me a "Holy Roller". That is one thing I never considered myself to be. We did visit Paul's friend's church, which was a Church of God, on several occasions. The church we were baptized through was a Church of God. They are often much more enthusiastic than we are used to although I never witnessed anything different.

People seem to have their own opinions on what it is to be a Christian. Many people think you have to work to be saved, but it is a gift freely given. Some people think that the building will collapse if they enter the door. Of course they are joking. It would be difficult to enter for the first time if you weren't used to going to church. That is one reason churches have special activities that are separate from worship services. People can see that we are friendly and they would be welcome. Other people think that just going to church makes you a Christian. I may have been part of that category at one time. What makes the difference between a believer and a nonbeliever is whether or not you have accepted Christ as your Savior. We need to have Him as the most important part of our lives.

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."  Romans 10:9

Seeking God

"I have found the Book of the Law in the house of the Lord." 2 Chronicles 34:15  While reading one of my older Daily Bread booklets I read these words, "During Josiah's reign as king of Judah, he ordered the repair of the temple. In the temple, Hilkiah the high priest found the Book of the Law that had been given to Moses by the Lord. When Josiah 'heard the words of the Law' he felt convicted and later stood before his people to make a covenant to keep all that was written in the book."

"...for great is the wrath of the Lord that is poured out on us, because our fathers have not kept the word of the Lord, to do according to all that is written in this book." 2 Chronicles 34:21

I'm not an Old Testament scholar and won't pretend to take this apart word for word. I can see that when one generation doesn't pass their knowledge of the Word of God to the next generation what is most important will be lost to future generations. I have seen this in my lifetime.

My mother was raised in a Christian home and said that she accepted the Lord as a child. After Mom left home and came to California she must not have found Christian friends and got away from the habit of going to church.

My father was raised by a Jehovah Witness mother and did not really share her belief. She was a dear lady, but held on to her faith in her cult of which she was one of the original 144,000. She tried to get us interested in what she believed but thankfully we did not go that direction. She faithfully went door to door until she was more than eighty years old.

Mom and Dad always sent my sisters and me to Sunday school and we went willingly. We learned Bible stories and enjoyed the songs and fellowship. Mom rarely went to church with us and did not really teach us the lessons that she learned at her mother's knee. We learned to be good in our life's lessons, but did not really learn or hear that we needed to have a personal relationship with Jesus. We did not know "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

There were times that we lived on the farm with Mom's parents and went to Sunday school and church with them. Grandma was also a Sunday school teacher and taught us many lessons at home. If we had always lived with these dear grandparents I'm sure we would have understood the need for the Lord in our lives. We were so young when we were with them. Donna had an extra year with them on the farm and was even baptized during that time.

Since we spent most of our growing up years in Coronado we did not get the lessons from our mother's parents for as long as we should have. We were happy going to the Methodist Sunday school and I'm sure we had good lessons, but I do not remember hearing that we needed to be saved. We would have wondered what we needed to be saved from. We did not know that "all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

We actually could have heard what we needed to know but just did not take it to heart. I do not know. All I know is that I do not remember hearing this lesson.

One thing I can be sure of is that our grandparents were praying for us. God hears the prayers of grandparents. When I read old letters I find from Grandma I see that she was not giving up on us. She always got a good word for what is truth into those letters. We probably just thought that Grandma was preaching again. But we always loved our grandparents, both sets of grandparents. One grandma may have been trying to get us to be involved in her cult. The other one gave us what was truth in her letters to us. Both had our best interests at heart.

As teenagers my sisters and I still went to church and got involved in the Methodist Youth Fellowship where we had friends. These are the friends I was with when Paul and I met. He ended up coming to the Methodist church too. Paul had gone to the Christian Scientist Sunday school as a child. As a teenager he was attracted to the Presbyterian church as he wanted to sing in their choir. I don't know how long he went there before he came to the church where I was. Eventually we both sang in the choir together at the Methodist church.

When we were in grade school the Gideons gave out little New Testaments to many of us. I remember receiving one. Paul received one too. He remembers reading the statement of faith in the little Bible and signing it. That has the date of when he first believed and accepted Christ. He can tell you the date even now. I wish I had a specific date to say exactly when I was saved. It would have been much later than him even though I can't say I ever did not believe in God. I always had some sort of belief, but I needed to have a time that I accepted Christ as my Savior. I just did not realize this.

I remember one time when I was a young mother and a friend called me a good Christian. Well, I said that "I try to be a Christian." When I remember that now I would take that as a sign that I did not really know what it was to be a Christian. How could I know if I had not really heard? I remember other times of not giving the right answer too. When I was a teenager when someone asked me to be specific about what I believed I gave some dumb answer. I can't believe how confused I was. I did not know scripture, yet I had always been in Sunday school.

I was the mother of two young children, and expecting our third, before I realized I needed a personal relationship with Jesus. I don't know the exact moment when I first believed and sometimes questioned myself about this. There have been moments in time when I have gone ahead and reaffirmed that I am a believer. I do love the Lord and look forward to seeing him in heaven someday.

What has bothered me is all the years my sisters and I could have been growing in the Lord, but we were walking in darkness. If Mom had taught us what she learned as a child we could have made personal commitments to the Lord as children. Yes, Donna was baptized as a child when she was with our grandparents and going to their little Baptist church in Washington. How much she really believes in the Lord I do not know. I do not even know if my other sister Betty ever accepted the Lord before she died. This is a sad thing for me. I can hope for miracles and could see her again in heaven someday. Why did I not lead her to the Lord? I spent my time planting seeds, but don't have any idea if they grew. I know her daughter is a believer. Possibly one of her sons is a believer too.

I tried to do my best in raising my children. We always went to church and Sunday school together. I did not have the foundation I needed to be totally effective in what I wanted to do. But my girls are believers, thankfully. Kathy raised her girls with more wisdom than I had. They are also believers. I'm sad to say that my sons still need the Lord. My prayers are always going out for them. I will not give up praying for them.

Will future generations of our family know the Lord? If I had my way they would. My grandmother's prayers did not go on deaf ears. Thankfully I came to the Lord while she was able to hear the good news. Now days so many people walk in darkness and have no belief in God at all. This is such a sad thing for our generation and those to follow. "...for great is the wrath of the Lord that is poured out on us, because our fathers have not kept the word of the Lord..." 2 Chronicles 34:21